Thilk

Hi friends!

 

I hope these past two weeks have been as interesting for you as they have for me.  Personally, I've learned a few jokes, been instructed in matters pertaining to health as well as recreation, observed various hobbies and decorative styles and remain thrilled with the many nuances of the English language. Oh, and I have another snake story.

 

Sjaantje had a homework assignment on 'Idioms' a few days ago which, by the time she finished, was about as much fun as a rousing round of 'Holiday MadLibs'.  For me anyway.  OK, I admit it: Bless her heart, Sjaantje has a small problem understanding American sayings.  Her assignment was to fill in the blanks in sentences, using a list of given words and then explain what each phrase meant.  Her confusion in the meanings was understandable - considering that she filled in some words incorrectly in the first place.

 

His tongue is worse than his bite.  (That means he needs to brush his tongue as well as his teeth.)

The new student spoke in a foreign bark.  (He's obviously upset about something.)

Don't count your chickens before they hatch.  (Count the eggs.)

You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. (Honey is sticky, vinegar is liquid.  The flies might drown, though.)

 

Quite frankly, Sjaantje's interpretations are completely understandable if you consider her background...In France, when an English phrase is translated into French and then that French translation is ver batum translated back into English, the result is this, for example:

 

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush - English

Un tiens vaut mieux que deux tu l'auras - French translation

A hold is better than two you will hold it - back to English, from the French words

 

Sjaantje did correct her mistakes before she turned in the assignment - episodes such as this only amuse me.  Besides, it is not important/ca ne mange pas de pain/it does not eat bread.

 

One day last week, as Dalana and I were enjoying a chitchat and a cup of coffee, a man sitting next to us said, 'Thpell thilk 3 time' thin a row.'  'Spell what?', I inquired. 'Thilk.'

 

My response was 'T-H-I-L-K, T-H-I-L-K, T-H-I-L-K', which apparently was the correct answer and unfortunately encouraged the jokester to ask another question: 'Wazzacow drink?'   Not wanting to engage in this conversation any further and hoping to baffle the jokester with my matter-of-fact-ness, I replied 'Ponds'. 

 

If there had been more teeth and less hooch in the comedian, the joke would have gone like this: Spell 'silk' three times in a row. S-I-L-K x3.  What does a cow drink? And the answer that would most likely pop into your head would be 'milk' (and 'tis true for baby cows) but the answer should have been water.

 

 

Henko is an excellent cook and when he does, he listens to the music of Norah Jones at full iPod speaker volume. Not at all a slap to Norah but Henk is fairly deaf in one ear and pretty much can't hear out of the other. (Exaggeration perhaps with the deafness, but also a main point of my story.) So, the other night as Henko was cooking, Sjaantje and I decided to go out on the upstairs balcony to look for deer.  The balcony door slammed shut, followed by this fateful clicking noise.  After glancing at each other momentarily, we both grabbed the door handle in an attempt to go back inside.  Nope.  Stuck outside, in the cold, about to rain, wearing our pajamas on the second floor balcony. Having the extremely long legs that I have been blessed with (no), I slithered my appendages through the balcony railing and attempted a minuscule toe tap on the dining room glass. Go figure, Henk didn't hear it.  We could see him chopping, sauteing and sort of dancing in his own primitive way with the music.  No chance he's going to look over to us.  What other options do we have but to start yelling? Needless to say, that was a futile attempt. But we did manage to scare off the deer.  Nearly an hour later after the dinner was served and shocker, no one was at the table, Henk finally ventured upstairs to find us.  

 

And now for a health tip which may be news for you:  If you suffer from arthritis, the best way to cure the pain is to catch a bee in your hand.  Then, cupping the bee in your palm, simply place your hand (and therefore the bee) on the pained joint.  Once the bee stings you, the arthritic pain simply goes away.  Who would've thought?

 

While briefly using one finger to apply gentle upward pressure to the tip of his nose, Dean shared yet another snake story with us a few days ago...

 

'You know when Scott and me was out there clearing some brush at the cabana, Scott found him a puff adder snake.  S'also called a hog-nose, like this (demonstration).  Anyways, Scott knows them are harmless snakes and this poor snakey fella was downright scared of us!  So waz Scott do?  He decides to give the snake a bath - he didn't use no soap or nothin', just his hands, a sponge and the water from the crick.  Then he was just petting that there snake, rubbin' it's belly and cuddlin' it like a newborn kitty.  Next thing ya know, that there snakey fella just died - of FRIGHT! (pause, as in a moment's reflection) So I's told him, "You don't need to be doing that to the snakes!  You done killed him!" Reckon he won't be bathing no more snakes when I'm around.'

 

God bless our friend Dean.  You really must meet him. 

 

Let's see, what else....

 

Last week, Sjaantje asked Henk, 'Dad, what exactly is margarine?'  Henk obviously replied, 'Fake butter.' Bewilderedly, Sjaantje replied with 'What the heck is fake butter?' She did not like the answer. 

 

Do you know that some people here refer to a Pinot Grigio as 'Peanut Gringo'?

 

We met a man who picks up roadkill and takes them to the taxidermist.  He then decorates his house with the masterpieces.

 

I guess that's all my news. Hope all of you are doing fantastic! 

Missing our European friends and family and enjoying our Texas ones -

Big kiss,

Wend