Overcoming our phobias - or not

Hello dear friends!

My snake phobia grows. Last week, thanks to Tropical Storm Hermine, we had a little respite from the heat. But with that short-lived luxury came 12 inches of rain and as cozy as it may sound, in this part of the world that loosely translates to 'flash floods' and Wuzzy banging his head repeatedly on the pantry door at 2:00 am. I think I had mentioned before that there are 2 or 3 rivers or creeks running through our town...this was before I found out there are actually 5. No biggy except most of them flooded which made the chances of major damage, accidents and drowning very high. Fortunately, I heard of no major issues in town but you should have seen the snakes that were beached. What kind of a mother AM I, letting my daughter swim in those cesspools of slithery things?

Our friend Dean found a 3 foot long coral snake at his gazebo. Still quite alive and sneakily coiled under the river floats in the children's outside play area (the snake, not Dean ), the creepy poisonous reptile decided to challenge Dean to a fight. Dean won, thanks to his boots and a shovel. Being a typical Texan and knowing that snakes like to 'play dead', Dean whipped out his pocket knife, lopped off the snake's head and hung the carcass in a tree. I'm not sure what he did with the head but the yard was apparently much more festive.

You think that's bad? Guess what then happened to Dean...An hour or so later, he told his friend about the snake. Mr. Friend said, 'Dude! Ain't ya got no bucket?' Dean said something similar to 'No.' Mr. Friend said, 'Man, you shoulda just throwed that Daddy in a bucket, took it to that Science thingy over yonder. They's gonna pay you one thousand buckeroos for that there critter. But he got's to be alive. Venom, you know. Like my ex-wife.'

I'm sure you remember our new snake in the primordial pond. You know, the one who hangs out with toads? Well, we drained the pond to sort of force them to find another habitat. And then the rain came and the pond was overflowing. Honestly, I couldn't tell you what lurks in that mosquito factory right now but I do know that Wuzzy refuses to go near it. And if for some reason Wuzzy does a tentative sniff test of the pond, he then bolts right into the sliding glass door. Although now he's only smarfing the glass with his nose and tongue, Wuzzy's going to break that door one of these days but I still refuse to keep it open...snakes, toads, frogs, opossum and who knows what else...

...Probably spiders, actually. Big, yellow and black striped, 3 inch long hungry spiders called 'banana spiders' or 'zipper spiders'. Yes, we have one of those now. Oh, joy. She has made her beautiful and rather large web (3' by 6' or 1 meter by 2 meters) on our front patio. We call her 'Petunia' and she spends her mornings, afternoons, evenings and presumably throughout the night hanging upside down, waiting for a cricket or grasshopper or an unfortunate gecko to become trapped in her dwelling. As Henk is still somewhat a fascinated scientist and Sjaantje has no real fear of any critters, the two of them often catch large bugs and pitch them into the web. At which point it takes about 15 seconds for that unlucky insect to be completely wrapped in spider silk and 0.5 seconds for my skin to become a series of pimply looking bumps. You probably know what happens next. The best part about having pet Petunia is that she was - emphasis on WAS - pregnant. She left for a day to lay her egg-sac, or whatever the correct terminology is, and returned as a much smaller bellied fiend. I mean friend. An egg sac = 100 babies. Maybe 1000. I'm not sure of anything other than I really hope they all hatch and make vast webs across our house facade in time for Halloween. That will certainly cut down on my Halloween decoration expenditures.

To abruptly change the subject, we received Sjaantje's first academic progress report! On a hundred point scale, Sjaantje scored: 100; 94; 92; and 89 in four different classes; the 100% was in her Language Arts class. The Music and Home Room grades were not listed, but I seriously doubt there is a problem. Can you say 'proud'?

Sjaantje's music teacher at school will begin teaching the recorder/flute to the kids in January. Yesterday, Sjaantje decided she wanted to show off her flute playing skills (can you believe that?!!) and took her flute, along with her old music notebook from Mr. DeBombourg's class, to school. After explaining to her teacher how and what Mr. DeBombourg taught her, how some songs she learned were actually in English and then translated into French (i.e. 'We are the World'), she then played a few samples. The teacher wanted to keep the notebook to see how the French teach flute! This was all Sjaantje's idea...actually instigating a conversation with a teacher, playing the flute and then showing off! I cannot express how thrilled I am. What a change!

I swear, Sjaantje is one of the most clever and interesting young chicas to ever come along. I know, I know...I'm her Mom. But tell me this: Did your child ever write a word backwards just to make sure it fit on the line? No, it's not Satanic. It's logic and takes an exceptionally organized brain. Sjaantje had to spell out 'The International Double Dutch Society' on some homework last night - which dealt with anacronyms. When I reviewed her homework, she had forgotten to insert the word 'international'. So instead of starting at the left margin (to squishily fit the word in), she started with the 'L' just before the word 'Double' and worked her way backwards - to make sure the word fit in the margin. Artist!

I've recently learned about a new unit of measure: a cayan. Admittedly, first I assumed it was a cayenne, as in pepper, but after listening to a verbal recipe I realized it's a different thing altogether: 'Just add you a cayan uh cream uh cel'ry, then a cayan uh cream uh oneeon to that bird pan. Slop you another cayan uh water and cook it! Easy as pie!' (Frankly, I find making a pie extremely challenging.) I'll be rushing off to the nearest Sur La Table or Williams Sonoma this weekend, without a doubt, to find this new culinary tool. Have any of you heard of it?

Henk and David are going to Costa Rica next month. Sjaantje and I are not. Meanies.

That is the extent of any news around here! Other than Sjaantje has signed up for a 'cheerleading' camp which includes a performance at the local football game this coming Friday. Diving head first into Americana, her first practice was Monday night. Since the object of being a cheerleader is to scream at the crowd and engage them in silly chants and antics, Henk and I are interested to see how that pans out with Sjaantje. It also reminded us to purchase a health insurance plan for her.

After the practice last night, the parents received a little 'Reminder' notice for the procedure at the football game. Very helpful, indeed: 'There will be signs up and JV & Varsity cheer moms around to help direct parents of wheres to drop off and pick up little cheerleaders.' Is it any wonder Sjaantje has a 100% in Language Arts? Maybe she should teach the class.

Gros bisous and take care,

Wend

P.S. Dean told me the other day 'I had a steak last night that tasted like a shoe.' When I asked 'What cut of steak?' he replied, 'Cow.'